This was an email I received from a great friend, who I know is struggling in her relationship. How timely it is! I think it is important that when entering a relationship, you must decide early on what you can(negotiable) and can not (non-negotiable) live with. Then pray that something that was not revealed previously does not reveal its' ugly head! Non-negotiables should be deal breakers. What would be your non-negotiables?
Manipulative Relationships
"Fear of man is a dangerous trap."
Proverbs 29:25 TLB
When you enter any relationship, romantic, social, business or otherwise,be careful what you permit in the beginning because it'll come to be expected. For example, if you have to buy someone's friendship by letting them manipulate you, be prepared to keep paying. And don't plan on changing them. Just think how difficult it is to change yourself - so what are your chances of changing somebody else? Decide now what you can live with later. And stop living like there's no tomorrow - because tomorrow always comes! Solomon said, "Fear of man is a dangerous trap."Relationships can't thrive with one person calling all the shots while the other struggles for approval. Paul said he had no interest in "trying to make people accept him." His only interest was pleasing God. (Galatians 1:10 NCV). God will never ask you to violate your values or disobey His will just to be in the good graces of another person. In fact, it's better to be alone than to allow anyone other than God to control your life. Let people know up front that while you'd like their approval you can live without it if you have to. Respect others, and make it clear you expect the same in return. Above all, never let emotion win out over wisdom, or drown out the voice of God in your life. When you're insecure you can be drawn into wrong relationships. Security is a fundamental part of your identity as God's child. Paul says "you are God's masterpiece . . created . . . a new in Christ." (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)
God wants you free to be who you are. That's why when you ask Him to guide your relationships, He'll help you to form the right ones.
Now, my question for you: How important is it to be in a relationship/marriage with someone who is God fearing and in the case of marriage 'involved' in a church? And by 'involved', I don't mean just in attendance.
Signed,
God's masterpiece
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Ask God to Guide Your Relationships
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
God fearing, husband, manipulative, marriage, non-negotiables, relationship, trap, wife
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Sounds like that's me...The truth is that, my mate believes in God, but he grew up under two different belief systems. The hardest thing for me has been going to church by myself, knowing that he is at home. I love this man dearly, but is love enough. Should I have to just turn the other cheek, knowing that my relationship is not where it should be. I love God before anyone and anything else, and it is He that I DO NOT want to disappoint. I need help...
I am in the same situation as nluvandconfuzed. My husband is God fearing, but doesnt' go to church. Does that mean he's not really God fearing? He thinks almost everyone in the church is a hypocrite and doesn't want to go because of that. Although they (our mates)fear God but still do not obeying his word...all of his word. That means in terms of their marriage. Are they doing what God teaches about marriage? It seems so complicated, but yet so easy. To answer the question, I do think it's important that you are involved with a man who is God fearing. If he sincerely fears God, then he'll do what God says in all situations, including marriage and realtionship.
I think it is very important. It is hard enough to live with yourself; but can you image how difficult to live with someone who don't brush their teeth the way you do or who don't leave the toilet seat down or someone who possible pass gas while you are sleeping. ..........It truly take a Holy God to make relationships work. I can't think of any other way for it to work. I can't think of even a Holy God would want to put up with my wining and crying about this or that. Thinking that there is no one who know what I know. everyone else is wrong and I am right! what do you think?
I heard a legend that Cherokee Indian lads go through a particular ritual.
The lads’ father, takes him into the forest, and blindfolds him. The ritual requires the lad to sit on a stump an entire night without removing the blindfold. In addition, he must not cry out or seek help. The lad survives the horrific night. After the sun appeared, the lad removed his blindfold. …he is a MAN! It was then the lad discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. The father had been on watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. To keep the ritual going he cannot tell the other boys of his experience, because each has to come into manhood on his own.
This reminds me of many relationships today, and how we squander time and practice deception. Conveniently, there is reliable information quickly accessible and applicable to all subjects. Unfortunately little time is spent learning the gift of conversation (tête-à -tête). It is where the mind responds appropriately with words to what was said while exercising the brain and developing discussion skills. Today, many people are still operating and communicating the way their Grand Father’s did, even though we recognized him as being intelligent, his style does not fit in today’s world.
It looks like we have accepted the “it is what it is” rule! We also attempt to convince others to buy into this misguided and bias practice. Apparently, the majority of people believe that a relationship is about ‘image’. It is for that reason, many are willing to keep up appearances even after it death. Perhaps it is because we know, God’s always with us and He is our rock and we look to Him to refresh the relationship. Remember, God won’t meddle with earthly things, since Jesus died for our free-will and sins. However, it is true that God will move circumstances to line up with the word, but you have to make the desires known. He loves to protect, provide, and fellowship with us. Since He empowers you with power and dominion over every living thing on earth, sea, and air his work here on earth is complete.
Genesis1: 26) And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 28) And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Take in to account He is not coming back until Judgment. I ask, are you sitting on a stump blindfolded, performing a ritual? Keep in mind; you are what you have faith in. Trust God and see your relationship as you wish. (Mark 11: 23) For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
In conclusion, Our Father is always close protecting, providing and preparing us. He gives us victory over seen and unseen horrors, even when we don't acknowledge Him. Also realize, Christ Jesus is the link to achieve a profitable unexplainable, peaceful, joyful, and prosperous relationship only inside of him. 24) Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Tip, have you ever noticed, that a male and female raised in the same neighborhood that speak the same language but hear and filter it totally differently. A circumstance, communicating with the opposite sex some time causes you to question if you are in the same room having the same conversation. I hope you realize the female ear hears sounds differently then the male ear. Please keep in mind the way the individual respond was decode and decipher through their belief. Facts, where Christ is he will remove the uneasy annoyance you feel. The eternal truth Christ is the only trustworthy interpreter needed to make you a genius.
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