The FIVE Love Languages

Who knew there were five love languages! And all of this time I have only spoken one. So, I am reading this new book, "The five love languages:How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" by Gary Chapman. And since I am also reading 4 other books, it's going a little slow. I hope that once I get into reading it I will not put it down until I have read it completely. But in the meantime, I can tell you this....I am monolingual as it relates to the specific language of "quality time".

What about you...has anyone else read this? Could sure use the Cliff Notes right about..now!


Signed,
"The problem isn't my love--it's my love language!"

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Ask God to Guide Your Relationships

This was an email I received from a great friend, who I know is struggling in her relationship. How timely it is! I think it is important that when entering a relationship, you must decide early on what you can(negotiable) and can not (non-negotiable) live with. Then pray that something that was not revealed previously does not reveal its' ugly head! Non-negotiables should be deal breakers. What would be your non-negotiables?

Manipulative Relationships
"Fear of man is a dangerous trap."
Proverbs 29:25 TLB
When you enter any relationship, romantic, social, business or otherwise,be careful what you permit in the beginning because it'll come to be expected. For example, if you have to buy someone's friendship by letting them manipulate you, be prepared to keep paying. And don't plan on changing them. Just think how difficult it is to change yourself - so what are your chances of changing somebody else? Decide now what you can live with later. And stop living like there's no tomorrow - because tomorrow always comes! Solomon said, "Fear of man is a dangerous trap."Relationships can't thrive with one person calling all the shots while the other struggles for approval. Paul said he had no interest in "trying to make people accept him." His only interest was pleasing God. (Galatians 1:10 NCV). God will never ask you to violate your values or disobey His will just to be in the good graces of another person. In fact, it's better to be alone than to allow anyone other than God to control your life. Let people know up front that while you'd like their approval you can live without it if you have to. Respect others, and make it clear you expect the same in return. Above all, never let emotion win out over wisdom, or drown out the voice of God in your life. When you're insecure you can be drawn into wrong relationships. Security is a fundamental part of your identity as God's child. Paul says "you are God's masterpiece . . created . . . a new in Christ." (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)
God wants you free to be who you are. That's why when you ask Him to guide your relationships, He'll help you to form the right ones.

Now, my question for you: How important is it to be in a relationship/marriage with someone who is God fearing and in the case of marriage 'involved' in a church? And by 'involved', I don't mean just in attendance.


Signed,
God's masterpiece

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SAVE MONEY. MARRY IN TEXAS.

A look at some notable bills that made it, and some that didn't, in the regular session of the 80th Texas Legislature.

Passed, awaiting action by governor
Marriage fee: Increases the Texas marriage license fee from $30 to $60 but waives the fee and a 72-hour waiting period for couples who take a premarital education course. Wow, could Texans be on to something? Wonder what the research says on the divorce rate of couples who completed some type of premarital education course or counseling? What do you think? Does it make a difference?

Failed
Covenant marriage: Would have allowed couples applying for a marriage license or couples already married to designate theirs a 'covenant marriage,' making divorce more difficult. Hmmmm....can someone help me understand what is a "covenant marriage"?

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COMMUNICATION

Yep! Communication is the #1 cause of divorce. I would categorize it as the number one cause for "premature divorce". Meaning couples would have a greater chance of succeeding in marriage earlier in their relationship if only they would master the skillfull art of communicating! So if you thought one of the other 'issues' would be the #1 cause, let me explain to you how communication leads the pack over and above the others.

Infidelity: spouses cheat because there is a severe break down in communication. He ain't talking to her and she ain't talking to him! Perhaps you should "talk" about the things that are creating a gap in your relationship and a bridge over the troubled waters! Listen when she speaks, hear what he says!

Finances: Financial 'disharmony' is plagued with an overwhelming failure to communicate. One spouse feels that I've said it once, I shouldn't have to say it again. "You are going to send us to the poor house!" The reality of it is, your spouse heard what you said, but is not certain that you mean what you say. (The spouse who cried wolf) Perhaps, if you try communicating on a different level such as, "Honey, remember 'we' discussed getting new furniture for the living room? Well, in order to do that, 'we' must curtail our monthly spending for the next two months to allow ourselves to save an additional $2000. 'I' will be reducing the number of days I eat lunch at a restaurant to 3 times a week and taking my lunch the other 2 days. How can 'you' limit your spending on a weekly basis to help meet 'our' goal?" WOW! Doesn't that sound a lot better and is more than likely to yield a positive response. I like that approach better than the slightly passive but mildly aggressive, "Have you checked our account lately??"

Keep in touch, I will update you on why failure to communicate reigns supreme in the annual contribution to the alarming divorce statistic!

Signed,
I know it, because I'm living it!

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