How-to tips that can strengthen a marriage

It's a rare marriage that doesn't have some rough spots that could use a little work.



Here is #1 of 14 tips found on the "Good News" website that can help you revitalize your marriage and strengthen the bonds of love.


Ask yourself what drew you to your mate. Think back to the time you first met your husband or wife and you just knew that he or she was the right one for you. So you pulled out all stops and decided to do your best to make this relationship a lasting one. The things you saw in each other were the things you wanted in your future mate. Time has passed since those days, and with a much busier life now it's easy to get caught up in work, hobbies, recreation and other activities. Considering what drew you to your mate in the first place helps you think about those qualities and be thankful for them. That's a good place to begin rejuvenating your relationship.

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My secret is out! He smacks me.

Recently, a close friend of mine and a blogger 'neophyte' asked me since blogging is so public, was I sure that I wanted the world to know that I was having marital problems? My question to her was, "Who in the world is married and does not have problems?" And isn't that the point? There are lots' of people who are married and having 'problems' but would never admit it. There are many of us, who may think we have problems but in reality a spouse who smacks loudly at the dinner table (okay in some households this could be argued as acceptable behavior) is really insignificant when compared to someone who is in an abusive marriage. So, the content of this blog is not a reflection of 'problems' I may be having (although I think we've got the smacking thing under control) but an opportunity for open, honest dialogue from all who have an interest in the state of "the union" between a man and a woman and particularly black couples. As far as reader comments, I think I have set my page so that your post can remain anonymous so you are free to move about the dialogue...but just in case, send a test comment first before putting your "best-friend and his wife" out on blast!

Signed,
I haven't been smacked in weeks

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SAVE MONEY. MARRY IN TEXAS.

A look at some notable bills that made it, and some that didn't, in the regular session of the 80th Texas Legislature.

Passed, awaiting action by governor
Marriage fee: Increases the Texas marriage license fee from $30 to $60 but waives the fee and a 72-hour waiting period for couples who take a premarital education course. Wow, could Texans be on to something? Wonder what the research says on the divorce rate of couples who completed some type of premarital education course or counseling? What do you think? Does it make a difference?

Failed
Covenant marriage: Would have allowed couples applying for a marriage license or couples already married to designate theirs a 'covenant marriage,' making divorce more difficult. Hmmmm....can someone help me understand what is a "covenant marriage"?

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COMMUNICATION

Yep! Communication is the #1 cause of divorce. I would categorize it as the number one cause for "premature divorce". Meaning couples would have a greater chance of succeeding in marriage earlier in their relationship if only they would master the skillfull art of communicating! So if you thought one of the other 'issues' would be the #1 cause, let me explain to you how communication leads the pack over and above the others.

Infidelity: spouses cheat because there is a severe break down in communication. He ain't talking to her and she ain't talking to him! Perhaps you should "talk" about the things that are creating a gap in your relationship and a bridge over the troubled waters! Listen when she speaks, hear what he says!

Finances: Financial 'disharmony' is plagued with an overwhelming failure to communicate. One spouse feels that I've said it once, I shouldn't have to say it again. "You are going to send us to the poor house!" The reality of it is, your spouse heard what you said, but is not certain that you mean what you say. (The spouse who cried wolf) Perhaps, if you try communicating on a different level such as, "Honey, remember 'we' discussed getting new furniture for the living room? Well, in order to do that, 'we' must curtail our monthly spending for the next two months to allow ourselves to save an additional $2000. 'I' will be reducing the number of days I eat lunch at a restaurant to 3 times a week and taking my lunch the other 2 days. How can 'you' limit your spending on a weekly basis to help meet 'our' goal?" WOW! Doesn't that sound a lot better and is more than likely to yield a positive response. I like that approach better than the slightly passive but mildly aggressive, "Have you checked our account lately??"

Keep in touch, I will update you on why failure to communicate reigns supreme in the annual contribution to the alarming divorce statistic!

Signed,
I know it, because I'm living it!

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Celebrating 4 years in July!

If you would have asked me five years ago where would I be? Married would not have been on the top of the list. But, I's married now! And four years later, we are still trying to figure it out.

What is the number one cause of divorce?

Infidelity, finances, children, creative differences, religous differences, political differences, boredom, sex, updrades, death, sickness or communication?

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