COMMUNICATION

Yep! Communication is the #1 cause of divorce. I would categorize it as the number one cause for "premature divorce". Meaning couples would have a greater chance of succeeding in marriage earlier in their relationship if only they would master the skillfull art of communicating! So if you thought one of the other 'issues' would be the #1 cause, let me explain to you how communication leads the pack over and above the others.

Infidelity: spouses cheat because there is a severe break down in communication. He ain't talking to her and she ain't talking to him! Perhaps you should "talk" about the things that are creating a gap in your relationship and a bridge over the troubled waters! Listen when she speaks, hear what he says!

Finances: Financial 'disharmony' is plagued with an overwhelming failure to communicate. One spouse feels that I've said it once, I shouldn't have to say it again. "You are going to send us to the poor house!" The reality of it is, your spouse heard what you said, but is not certain that you mean what you say. (The spouse who cried wolf) Perhaps, if you try communicating on a different level such as, "Honey, remember 'we' discussed getting new furniture for the living room? Well, in order to do that, 'we' must curtail our monthly spending for the next two months to allow ourselves to save an additional $2000. 'I' will be reducing the number of days I eat lunch at a restaurant to 3 times a week and taking my lunch the other 2 days. How can 'you' limit your spending on a weekly basis to help meet 'our' goal?" WOW! Doesn't that sound a lot better and is more than likely to yield a positive response. I like that approach better than the slightly passive but mildly aggressive, "Have you checked our account lately??"

Keep in touch, I will update you on why failure to communicate reigns supreme in the annual contribution to the alarming divorce statistic!

Signed,
I know it, because I'm living it!