Defending the Cave Man

Men are hunters and women are gatherers. At least that's what the Caveman said. If you and your spouse need a little laughter in your life, I encourage you to see the One Man Show...Defending the Caveman. As the older lady sitting next to my husband said, It is worth 15 years of therapy. I along with everyone else laughed until I cried! Too bad I didn't think of this....I would be RICH! If you are in the Dallas area, the Caveman will return the first week of November.

Why is he so funny? Well, he points out painfully obvious but hysterical differences between men and women all based on the theory that men are hunters and women are gatherers. Which explains why 2 women can spend 2 hours together and completely be caught up with what is going on in the life of the other including the latest on the in-laws, their job, the latest fashion and greatest gossip. (they are 'gathering' information) On the other hand, 2 men can spend 2 hours together and completely talk about nothing!

After all, the Caveman says, a man can't call up a buddy and ask,"You want to go sit by the lake and talk?" So they go fishing instead! On the other hand, women are quite comfortable calling other women and saying, "I need to talk! Wanna meet for drinks?"

So at what point did I recognize my husband in the Caveman's monologue? Let's just say dirty laundry has an entirely different meaning for men!

Log on to his website to see when he will be coming to a theater near you! I am sure it will make you laugh or make your cry. Maybe both!

Thanks Courtney for the tip!


Signed,
Gathering in the Suburbs

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THE PAINT CAN..

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an entire month." The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church. When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying, and the husband is obviously very depressed."You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week w as difficult; however we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible or anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts.One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly."You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor."We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot, either."

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NO! SEX DOES NOT CURE A MIGRAINE!

Sorry folks for my absence... I've been a little uninspired...but I had a conversation with another wife the other day and she said...!$!@@ Put that in your blog.... So here it is...

What the Wife Says: This migraine really has me feeling bad. I think I will get to bed early.
What her Husband Hears: My head sorta hurts, I think I need some sex.

What the Wife Does: Puts on her night gown with her granny panties and climbs in the bed.
What the Husband Does: Gets naked and drops all of his clothes on the floor as he leaps into bed.

What the Wife Thinks: He has got to be kidding....didn't he hear what the hell I just said!
What the Husband Thinks:

(Note: this space is blank because he is not thinking!)



What Happens Next:

Send me what happens next! This is an interactive forum so tell me what you think happens next. Just click on "Post a Comment' and it will take you to a comment box. As always, you can choose to remain incognito!


Signed,
You've inspired me!

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Let's Talk About Talking!

Do you find that you and your spouse have time to talk? I don't mean just question and answer...do you actually talk?

Remember when you were dating how you stayed on the phone for hours rambling about nothing! What you doin'? Nothin'. What you doin'? Back then, you were trying to impress one another by doing whatever you thought you had to do to keep that person's interest.

Well, for those of us who have kids, that means putting the kids to bed early to allow for some time for you and your spouse to talk. Now, that is the true test.

How do you put the kids to bed early? Priorities! It seems, you've got to make spouse time a priority. Some of you are able to get your kids to bed early but are not using that opportunity to talk to your spouse. And no... asking, "Did you set the alarm does not qualify as meaningful conversation"! I am thinking it can only occur at the end of the evening... at least for my family. Since we are full speed ahead heading for 'night-night' as soon as we walk in the door from work. And with a two year old (going on 52) it is difficult for mommy and daddy to get a word in edge wise.

For those of you who have figured it out, WHAT'S THE SECRET? How do you get in your daily dose of spouse talk? What do you talk about? What happens if you miss a day? I often find myself wanting to talk to my husband about something and then something else comes up and pushes that topic to the back of my mind only to never be spoken of again...until I arrive home one evening and realize that no one picked the baby up! (I knew there was something I was needing to tell him!)

Or better then that, you over hear your husband mention to a friend that he is taking medication to lower his cholesterol. What!$@#@!*! He never told me that...or maybe he did, but I thought he said something about changing his oil!


Signed,
Looking for ways to lower my baby daddy's cholesterol!

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Is your marriage a success?

A marriage can consist of many successes but undoubtedly will experience some challenges. The key is going from one to the other without losing your enthusiasm for your marriage. What do you do to ensure that you and your spouse are having a successful marriage? How often do you evaluate and reevaluate? What do you do if your marriage is not experiencing success?

Streaming Faith Daily Devotionals
Monday, June 25, 2007

Measuring Success by Dr. David C. Cooper
Everyone wants to be successful. The question is how do you measure success? Webster says that success is "a favorable or desired outcome of something attempted; a prosperous or advantageous issue or the attainment of wealth, fame, and so forth."
I like Winston Churchill's definition better: Success is going from one failure to another without losing your enthusiasm. A Gallup Poll conducted on 1,500 prominent people revealed five common traits of successful people- common sense, knowing one's field, self-reliance, general intelligence, and the ability to get things done.
Is that all there is to success? Jesus responds with a heart penetrating question,"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" (Matt 16:26).

There are two sides to the coin of success. First, success means to become the person God created you to be. Success is internal before it is external. It is measured by character not circumstances. God's greatest work is not in what He does for us, but what He does in us: "For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son" (Rom 8:29).Theodore Roosevelt said, "If you are not actively pursuing the person you want to be, then you are pursuing the person you don't want to be."
Second, success is a matter of accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. It is reaching for your goals. If you find you have the wrong goals then, change them! If your strategy isn't working, then change it! Success is largely a matter of hard work and determination to accomplish what you set out to do. Don't merely try - do!
As Yoda tells Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, "There is no try, only do!"
Go out and face the challenges of life with the will to win, the desire to succeed and the goal to please the Lord!

Dr. David C. Cooper serves as Senior Pastor of Mount Paran Church of God in Atlanta, GA. He received his bachelor's degree from Lee College, his Master of Education from the University of Georgia, and his Doctor of Ministry from Erskine Theological Seminary. Currently, Dr. Cooper serves as chairman of the Board of Directors and as an instructor in Counseling at the Psychological Studies Institute in Atlanta, Georgia.


Signed,
Actively in pursuit of success!

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This was a statement I read recently in an article published in the New York Times. I am curious to know if you agree or disagree with this statement?

One of the main reasons there are so few black marriages is that there are so many black men who are financially incapable of supporting a family.


Signed,
Married to a black man who is incapable of being incapable.

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Ask God to Guide Your Relationships

This was an email I received from a great friend, who I know is struggling in her relationship. How timely it is! I think it is important that when entering a relationship, you must decide early on what you can(negotiable) and can not (non-negotiable) live with. Then pray that something that was not revealed previously does not reveal its' ugly head! Non-negotiables should be deal breakers. What would be your non-negotiables?

Manipulative Relationships
"Fear of man is a dangerous trap."
Proverbs 29:25 TLB
When you enter any relationship, romantic, social, business or otherwise,be careful what you permit in the beginning because it'll come to be expected. For example, if you have to buy someone's friendship by letting them manipulate you, be prepared to keep paying. And don't plan on changing them. Just think how difficult it is to change yourself - so what are your chances of changing somebody else? Decide now what you can live with later. And stop living like there's no tomorrow - because tomorrow always comes! Solomon said, "Fear of man is a dangerous trap."Relationships can't thrive with one person calling all the shots while the other struggles for approval. Paul said he had no interest in "trying to make people accept him." His only interest was pleasing God. (Galatians 1:10 NCV). God will never ask you to violate your values or disobey His will just to be in the good graces of another person. In fact, it's better to be alone than to allow anyone other than God to control your life. Let people know up front that while you'd like their approval you can live without it if you have to. Respect others, and make it clear you expect the same in return. Above all, never let emotion win out over wisdom, or drown out the voice of God in your life. When you're insecure you can be drawn into wrong relationships. Security is a fundamental part of your identity as God's child. Paul says "you are God's masterpiece . . created . . . a new in Christ." (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)
God wants you free to be who you are. That's why when you ask Him to guide your relationships, He'll help you to form the right ones.

Now, my question for you: How important is it to be in a relationship/marriage with someone who is God fearing and in the case of marriage 'involved' in a church? And by 'involved', I don't mean just in attendance.


Signed,
God's masterpiece

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How-to tips that can strengthen a marriage

It's a rare marriage that doesn't have some rough spots that could use a little work.



Here is #1 of 14 tips found on the "Good News" website that can help you revitalize your marriage and strengthen the bonds of love.


Ask yourself what drew you to your mate. Think back to the time you first met your husband or wife and you just knew that he or she was the right one for you. So you pulled out all stops and decided to do your best to make this relationship a lasting one. The things you saw in each other were the things you wanted in your future mate. Time has passed since those days, and with a much busier life now it's easy to get caught up in work, hobbies, recreation and other activities. Considering what drew you to your mate in the first place helps you think about those qualities and be thankful for them. That's a good place to begin rejuvenating your relationship.

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My secret is out! He smacks me.

Recently, a close friend of mine and a blogger 'neophyte' asked me since blogging is so public, was I sure that I wanted the world to know that I was having marital problems? My question to her was, "Who in the world is married and does not have problems?" And isn't that the point? There are lots' of people who are married and having 'problems' but would never admit it. There are many of us, who may think we have problems but in reality a spouse who smacks loudly at the dinner table (okay in some households this could be argued as acceptable behavior) is really insignificant when compared to someone who is in an abusive marriage. So, the content of this blog is not a reflection of 'problems' I may be having (although I think we've got the smacking thing under control) but an opportunity for open, honest dialogue from all who have an interest in the state of "the union" between a man and a woman and particularly black couples. As far as reader comments, I think I have set my page so that your post can remain anonymous so you are free to move about the dialogue...but just in case, send a test comment first before putting your "best-friend and his wife" out on blast!

Signed,
I haven't been smacked in weeks

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SAVE MONEY. MARRY IN TEXAS.

A look at some notable bills that made it, and some that didn't, in the regular session of the 80th Texas Legislature.

Passed, awaiting action by governor
Marriage fee: Increases the Texas marriage license fee from $30 to $60 but waives the fee and a 72-hour waiting period for couples who take a premarital education course. Wow, could Texans be on to something? Wonder what the research says on the divorce rate of couples who completed some type of premarital education course or counseling? What do you think? Does it make a difference?

Failed
Covenant marriage: Would have allowed couples applying for a marriage license or couples already married to designate theirs a 'covenant marriage,' making divorce more difficult. Hmmmm....can someone help me understand what is a "covenant marriage"?

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COMMUNICATION

Yep! Communication is the #1 cause of divorce. I would categorize it as the number one cause for "premature divorce". Meaning couples would have a greater chance of succeeding in marriage earlier in their relationship if only they would master the skillfull art of communicating! So if you thought one of the other 'issues' would be the #1 cause, let me explain to you how communication leads the pack over and above the others.

Infidelity: spouses cheat because there is a severe break down in communication. He ain't talking to her and she ain't talking to him! Perhaps you should "talk" about the things that are creating a gap in your relationship and a bridge over the troubled waters! Listen when she speaks, hear what he says!

Finances: Financial 'disharmony' is plagued with an overwhelming failure to communicate. One spouse feels that I've said it once, I shouldn't have to say it again. "You are going to send us to the poor house!" The reality of it is, your spouse heard what you said, but is not certain that you mean what you say. (The spouse who cried wolf) Perhaps, if you try communicating on a different level such as, "Honey, remember 'we' discussed getting new furniture for the living room? Well, in order to do that, 'we' must curtail our monthly spending for the next two months to allow ourselves to save an additional $2000. 'I' will be reducing the number of days I eat lunch at a restaurant to 3 times a week and taking my lunch the other 2 days. How can 'you' limit your spending on a weekly basis to help meet 'our' goal?" WOW! Doesn't that sound a lot better and is more than likely to yield a positive response. I like that approach better than the slightly passive but mildly aggressive, "Have you checked our account lately??"

Keep in touch, I will update you on why failure to communicate reigns supreme in the annual contribution to the alarming divorce statistic!

Signed,
I know it, because I'm living it!

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Celebrating 4 years in July!

If you would have asked me five years ago where would I be? Married would not have been on the top of the list. But, I's married now! And four years later, we are still trying to figure it out.

What is the number one cause of divorce?

Infidelity, finances, children, creative differences, religous differences, political differences, boredom, sex, updrades, death, sickness or communication?

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